Syria

I'm seeing a lot of negative remarks on Facebook from both sides of the fence regarding the Syria issue, but I'm NOT seeing anyone address the heart of the matter!

First, let me establish a few key things:
1. I am not an Obama fan in any way shape or form, so my opinion has nothing to do with loyalty to him.
2. I honestly feel that a Syrian civil war in general is none of our business and that (within some guidelines) they should be left to it. If that means wiping each other out in a long civil war, well I'm sad for them, but that is really up to them.
3.  I've watched my children go off to war more than once and, as you can imagine, loathe the idea of the US participating in another war.

That having been said, the real issue here is that THEY USED CHEMICAL WEAPONS!  There are treaties in place that disallow this FOR A REASON!  If we just turn a blind eye, then we are leaving the door wide open for the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy to do the same. How are we going to like it when it is US citizens on the receiving end of this type of warfare? Warfare is bad enough without condoning this garbage!

We are so tired of war that we seem to be burying our heads in the sand on this. Do we really think this behavior is just going to go away?  I would hope we can find a way to send these idiots a message without putting troops on the ground, but one way or another we better find a way to teach these guys that the world won't sit idly by and let them break the rules like this. I'm not talking about helping them kiss and make up, I'm talking about reminding them in no uncertain terms that chemical weapons use is NOT OKAY!

I truly hate the idea of having to get involved, but not as much as I hate the idea of the precedent we are setting if we don't stand up to this kind of behavior! Pretending this won't affect us is naive in the worst way. Just my opinion...

Gun Control

It amuses me that people in this country can so easily forget and fall into a state of denial regarding government.  Even a person who doesn't know much history recognizes names like Hitler, Mussolini, or Saddam Hussein, yet they learn nothing from them. Our country was even founded in an effort to escape tyrannical government (sorry, England, we still love you!), yet people convince themselves it could never really happen. One of the main reasons our founding fathers wrote the right to bear arms into our constitution was so that the people would always have the power to keep the government in check. I have news for you, people. Our government is not only armed, it is armed with assault weapons.  What, pray tell, do you think it takes to keep a government like that in check? Water guns? And yet I see all of these people whining and complaining and determined to take the guns out of the hands of the law abiding citizens. Where will that leave us? At the mercy of the criminals and the government, that's where.

The Second Amendment:
"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

militia [mi-lish-uh]

—noun

a body of citizens organized in a paramilitary group and typically regarding themselves as defenders of individual rights against the presumed interference of the federal government.

 It's been said before and I'll say it again... They can have my gun when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Stop the Madness!!!!!

As we head into this holiday season I’m becoming more and more disturbed by how ridiculously consumer driven and selfish this country has become.  I can remember when stores not only closed on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but also overnight and on Sundays!  Remember those days?  When you and your loved ones could count on spending time together at least one day a week … 

Slowly, our selfishness has led to stores being open on Sundays… then 24 hours per day… now 365 days per year.  We are a culture of consumers who insist on instant gratification and have taken a once beautiful and spiritual holiday season and turned it into an excuse to line the pockets of greedy retailers. And we all feed the frenzy by running to Wal-mart on Thanksgiving morning because we forgot to buy butter, or catching a movie when the tryptophan starts to kick in on Thanksgiving afternoon, or (worse yet) allowing black Friday to start a day early by showing up on Thursday evening to get in line so that you can save $20 on a flat screen TV at midnight...  They are now projecting that within 5 years Thanksgiving Day will be as big a retail day as black Friday is now.  The thought makes me beyond angry. 

I see people working at places like Wal-mart, restaurants, and theatres who are of all ages and walks of life, being paid pathetic wages with horrible (if any) benefits and yet expected to work ridiculous hours all in the name of retail and entertainment.  We watch our movies on big screens, sit down at restaurants to be waited on hand and foot (and then don’t tip, which is shameful, by the way, because servers depend on tips as part of their minimum wage!!!), and go to department stores all on traditional holidays like Thanksgiving and spend money we shouldn’t on things we don’t need (when we can’t even pay the minimum payment on our credit cards), all the while encouraging the corporate retailers to continue to exploit their workers and fatten their own wallets.  It’s disgusting and I’m tired of it.  The most important things in this world are the people, and if you value saving that $20 on that stupid flat screen TV more than the people who will have to sell it to you, well then I feel sorry for you.  I don’t expect this little rant to change anything beyond myself, but then perhaps that’s because I’m jaded.  I shouldn’t place my faith in people anyway, but in the God that resides within them.  Unfortunately, even those with God on board don’t always let Him drive…  

I, for one, will no longer participate.  I don’t care if I find that I am missing one key ingredient for every flipping dish I plan to cook for Thanksgiving dinner, I will not darken the doors of a store on that day and encourage this madness any longer.  I’ll stay home and have PB&Js, if I have to.  And you will NEVER catch me standing in line on Thanksgiving to participate in the black Friday garbage.  The only way we will ever be able to shift this horrible consumer-driven trend is for us as consumers to stop feeding it.   If you have a conscience at all (or a family you love) then I ask you to consider doing the same.  By shopping on holidays you are keeping someone away from their family.  It’s as simple as that. 

The SOCIAL NETWORK. (!!!)

I’ve been thinking for quite some time about this subject and wanted to wait until I wasn’t angry to write about it.  I figured if I wrote this when I was angry, then it would be pretty inflammatory and that isn’t usually how I roll.  Plus, I wouldn’t want anyone to think it is in response to any one particular post.  Maybe you'll consider this inflammatory, anyhow.  Who knows.  It's a blog, so I guess ruffling feathers goes with the territory...

Here’s the thing…  I have strong political opinions just like many of you, but because I value people and relationships so highly, I try to keep most of my opinions to myself and invest in people’s lives and add value where I can.  I’m not always successful, but I do try.  I’m a devoted Christian and political conservative, but I have many friends who are of other faiths and political leanings and we just agree to disagree.  We’re grownups, right?  “So, what’s the problem,” you ask?  The problem is Facebook…

Facebook is supposed to be a social network, right? (That’s what the founders call it.)  It’s a virtual hang out.  An online coffee bar without the coffee.  A place to have a laugh, catch up with your friends, make them laugh, etc.  In my opinion, what it shouldn’t be is an in-your-face political campaigning stump, or sales platform.  I’m not sure why some people are so determined to use it as that kind of forum.  Honestly, I don’t have a problem with people posting video links or quotes from their favorite candidate, etc. here and there.  That’s no big deal to me.  I’m fine with people being excited about their candidate (even if they aren’t my candidate) or their faith (even if it’s not my faith), and I don’t have to watch their videos if I don’t want to.  What I have a problem with is people posting offensive or flaming graphics, comments, etc. promoting their take on the issues.  After all, I wouldn’t carry a graphic pro-life poster into Starbucks…

So many posts that I see appear to assume that I’m going to respond with a resounding “Yeah! Absolutely!  I agree!”, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I can let a lot of things roll off my back, but when it comes to the hard issues, like abortion, for example, I draw the line.  So what do you do about it?  Unfriend the person?  Throw out the baby with the bath water, so to speak?  I’m certainly not going to comment negatively and start a political comment war (and publicly destroy our friendship in the process).  I, too, have very strong opinions about the hard issues, and when I get on Facebook to check in on my friends’ lives or to have a laugh, it offends me to instead see someone’s post condescendingly promoting their controversial opinion.  Perhaps people just don’t think about it.  It’s easy to forget the spectrum of people you have on your friend list.  Or, perhaps people just don’t care.  I hope that isn’t the case.

So, to all of my friends on Facebook with whom I disagree:  

I definitely care about you and want to continue to be your friend, but please understand that if you are one of these people, I probably have already unsubscribed from your status updates and will, consequently, be out of the loop on what’s going on in your life.  I’m sorry if this upsets you, but please stop and think about the fact that not everyone on your friend list necessarily feels the way you feel about the hard issues.  I know that many of the people on my friends list feel differently than I do, and that's okay with me.

For the record, I believe in God, I believe that Christ died to cover my sins (yours, too, by the way), I believe in my right to carry a gun, I believe in conservative government, and I believe that just because a woman doesn’t want to bear a child doesn’t give her the right to take that child’s life.  These are some of MY beliefs, and there are many more things that I believe, but if I want to discuss these more controversial topics, then I do so in my blog or in private conversations.  I would ask you, as my friends, to do the same.  

I hope we can continue to “agree to disagree” and stay friends, because I truly value you (otherwise you wouldn’t be on my friend list to start with).  I won’t, however, spend my life stressed out and angry because I’ve been blindsided by something that offends me when I thought I was in a seemingly safe relaxing place like Facebook.   I’m sorry, but life is too short to be continually offended when I can avoid it with a click of the mouse…

That's what it's like, being together...

My mom and I went to a movie a while back.  I love spending time with my mom.  We haven't always lived close enough to spend regular time together, so it is such a treat to be able to hang out with her whenever I want.  We met for brunch with my sister and her friend first, and then off to the movies we went.

The movie was "The Iron Lady"and we were seeing the first matinee of the day.  We stood in line waiting to go into the theatre discussing the film and I mentioned that I knew little about it other than it was a biopic about Margaret Thatcher (being an Anglophile, that was enough for me), and that the critics weren't being very kind about the overall story.  My mom  interjected that her understanding was that it was actually a romance.  "Interesting", I thought, "Didn't expect that!"

We were the first ones in the auditorium, so we quickly settled ourselves on the front row.  Not the extreme front row, mind, (that's a headache waiting to happen!), but the front row behind the metal railing and cross aisle.  Best seats in the house, IMHO, because you can prop your feet up on the bar... Anyhow, we took turns saving our seats while the other went to the rest room and then sat through all the obligatory pre-movie ads and previews.  Some good, some rediculous ("Thanks, Lebron James!"  Seriously?  How do they sleep at night?") 

Finally, the lights went down.  People were still trickling in, however, and many of them were elderly.  My mom even commented that only old folks like her were coming to this movie, but that she was glad I came with her.  Shortly thereafter an older couple began making their way across the aisle in front of us, but the lady was moving more quickly than the man.  She turned to her husband and said "Here take my hand.  You can't see?"  "No," he repied, "I can't see."  He took her hand and they continued to their seats.  Then my mom turned to me and said, "That's what it's like, being together."

My heart tightened.  You see, I lost my father several years ago.  I suddenly realized that my mom had lost more than just the man she loved on that day.  She lost her companion.  The person who's hand she would take when the lighting was poor.  Quietly I wiped the tears from my eyes so that she wouldn't see.  You see, my mom hadn't made the remark through tears or with self-pity.  She was celebrating the couple and what they were to each other.  So I will celebrate them, too.

We watched the film, and it was indeed a romance.  We watched as Margaret Thatcher mourned the loss of her dear Denis. And although it was sad, my heart was very thankful that I am blessed to know that kind of love. And I am thankful my mom knew it, too.

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Looking Back

My dad, Billy Allen Lyles of Newton, Mississippi, and I had a lot in common. We loved information. We loved woodworking. We were, as they say, cut from the same cloth. I used to love having conversations with him about things we had read or heard that were new or different. Computers... Space... etc., etc… Anything and everything interested us. He was one of those people (like me, I suppose) that really loved to learn. Our conversations were wonderful. But I lost my dad back in March of 2004 and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. He was 68 and I was 37 - too young on both counts. And although he lived long enough to see me graduate college, he died before realizing his goal of finishing his PhD. How I would have loved to call him Dr. Lyles. Oh, well. His birthday is coming up next week, and I’ve been missing him a lot lately…

One of my dad’s interests, which I didn’t particularly share, was geneology. He would tell me about pieces of information he had found and connections he had made in his searches from family member to family member. I humored him, but never really caught the fever. I felt about genealogy, at the time, like I felt about history in general… I liked the stories, but the plain facts bored me.

A love affair with history did develop within me, though, albeit slowly. When I was in college (getting a degree in Radio, Television and Film) I began to take an interest in British History. Virtually all of my electives ended up revolving in and around British History, and I even considered declaring a minor in history at one point. The Battle of Hastings (depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry - see picture above) piqued my interest for some reason, as did the entire reign of Henry VIII and his descendents. You can see images of the Bayeux Tapestry in the opening credits of the Kevin Costner version of “Robin Hood”, if you are interested. (You know, the one where Robin Hood doesn’t have a British accent…???)

A few years ago, I ended up working in the Department of History at the University of North Texas (I know, I know… What does that have to do with Radio, Television and Film?). As you can imagine, my interest in history continued to grow, being surrounded by historians and aspiring historians. Then, a couple of weeks ago, my son, Quinn, mentioned a website where you could download your family crest. I was interested and ended up ordering crests for both Lyles and Gerlach (maiden name and married name). The crests came, and included, as it turned out, a historical survey of each surname. (Nice!) Lo and behold, the “Lyles” documentation traced a path that began in Norfolk, England (yay!) when William the Conqueror awarded the Lyles family with lands in Norfolk as a thank you for their assistance in the Battle of Hastings. (Super-score!) I was hooked! So I decided to see if I could trace a line between then and now... And I refuse to think about the poor souls William evicted in order to establish my family's holdings. (Denial is a lovely thing.)

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a perspective thing that changes with age. When I was younger I had so many years ahead of me that all I wanted to do was focus on the future and run full speed ahead. As the years have gone by, with joint aches setting in and family members slipping away, I have begun the inevitable 180 degree turn and started looking back more and more. Back to when my dad was alive. Back to when my kids were small. Back to when I had a waistline. ;-)

So now I’m spending my spare time tracing my family tree. I started with the Lyles branch (for obvious reasons) and managed to get back as far as my third great grandfather in just one week. Then I hit a road block. It seemed there were no more references to “James Madison Lyles of Fairfield County, South Carolina”, so I continued to Google, searching the forum boards. As fate would have it, last week I stumbled across a post back in 1999 by someone looking for the same gent. My heartbeat rose and I quickly formulated plans to email this person. Certainly they had found information over the past 11 or so years and would have some answers for me. I looked to the top of the post to see if I could figure out how to contact them, and my heart skipped a beat as I registered the name: B. A. Lyles. It was my dad’s post. Still out there waiting for me to find it. It had taken me a while, but find it I did.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I grieved his loss for the umpteenth time. But all in all, finding that post was priceless. My dad and I sharing a common interest again. This week I am particularly thankful for having had a father who I was able to share so many things with. I love and miss you, Dad. And I’m going to keep searching…

Entitlement

Perhaps I'm becoming jaded, but it exhausts me to see how my generation has, as parents, raised children who fancy themselves entitled to everything their hearts desire.

Our grandparents had to save all of their young lives in the hopes of owning their own home some day. Then came the "living on credit" era, and that all went out the window. I see around me a generation of children who have their own cell phone by the time they can walk and spend 50% of their time telling their parents what to do. By the time they are 16 they have the cellphone in one hand, a Starbucks coffee in the other and keys to a newly financed car in their pockets. Is there any wonder they aren't willing to wait for anything else? (Sex, for example...) We have taught them to understand that as soon as they are physically able to have a privilege, then the privilege is theirs. They are the entitled generation. And their parents (some of them good-hearted people) are completely blind to what they have done. The minute the children commit (if you can call it that) to an exclusive relationship, they run out and purchase a home (and the parents co-sign). They don't marry, because that isn't necessary anymore. They can't keep a job because their work ethic stinks to high heaven, but *both* of their parents have to work to be able to bail them out when they can't make their bills. When that resource is exhausted, they default on their home, but no worries... they can still get credit. There will always be some lender offering them the "credit they deserve" at some exorbitant rate. In the meantime, they have a kid or two and, because it cramps their style to have to stay home and parent, they just expect the grandparents to step in... which they do. And they end up raising the grandchildren to be even more screwed up than the kids... but I'll save that rant for another day.

For the record, none of my children turned out this way. They aren't perfect, but they do have a healthy understanding that anything worth having is worth working for, and the only thing in this life that is truly free is salvation (by the grace of God). I don't say this to pat myself on the back, but to let them know that I am very proud of them and realize how blessed I am to call them my own.

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